In my walk with the Lord, I have always struggled with trusting and believing that He sees ME. That when I call out to him in prayer, he hears me and acts in accordance with His will for my best. In all honesty, struggling to believe that he even cares that I am hurting and wants to help. At the same time, knowing full well and totally believing that He works in the lives of the people I love (other people, maybe just not me) and trusting that the Word is truth. What's the deal with that?
It's sometimes (ok, a lot of times) hard to keep focus and understand that His best for me is not necessarily the picture of what I hope for...that his answers to my cries may look different than what I expect.
I have been feeling a little isolated/alone as of late due to a number of factors- working through a chronic health issue that seems to have no answers or path to restoration, thinking about my status as a single lady in my late (gulp...) thirties and how to quiet the lies in my head (and from the world around me) that I have somehow missed the boat and am less than worthy to be somebody's somebody, and to top it off (now this is kind of a silly one) my cute kitty has decided that spending time with me is not as cool as it once was. He doesn't even sleep next to me anymore...boohoo. His new found independence is a wee bit heartbreaking and fuels the fire of isolation.
I was laying in bed last night pondering these thoughts and asking God to shed some light on how He sees me, what He thinks of me and to show me how He is working despite my unbelief. In that moment, He gave me a little gift. Mosby decided to stop by, curled up at my knees and fell asleep. In that moment, it was a comfort.
And this morning, He gave me a little more as I made a choice to spend some time reflecting and reading His Word.
The title for my daily devotional read 'Hold my Hand- and Trust'. Hmmmm. It talked about clinging to His hand as a child would their parent, being dependant on that grasp to carry you forward and protect you. And how letting go and venturing out on your own most likely leads to fear, anxiety and danger. I want to learn to hold on....tight.
A few passages to encourage:
Isaiah 41:10- So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.
Psalm 62: 5-6- Find rest in God alone; my hope comes from Him. He alone is my rock and my salvation; He is my fortress, I will not be shaken.
Philippians 4:8- Finally brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable- if anything is excellent or praiseworthy- think about such things.
Today, I think about such things. I hold His hand tight and trust in his guidance to walk with me forward.
Love you!
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